Vampiric Sexpots… you can’t handle all the lushness I have cause its so fanaglicious!
Posted by Ms Harker | Filed under Horror Films, Horror TV
A post was released the other day on one of my favourite sites to trawl Fearnet, claiming to have a list of the, in their opinion the Top 10 Sexiest Vampires . Now being one who delights in all things vamp I eagerly scrolled down the page and felt the darkness inside me turn from black to a lava like red with the travesty that was their top ten. Now every tragedy has its blood red lining True Blood’s Eric Northman every woman’s wicked viking vampiric sexpot had made the list, as had the sultry sanguine seductress Salma Hayek as Santanico Pandemonium in From Dusk Til Dawn.
However my issues with the list are twofold. Firstly they don’t appear to have gone beyond the nineties, with the exception of The Hunger, which is a sign of it being written by a youngling to the fold of darkness, or laziness. Two; how on earth can the ferret brothers especially Stefan from ‘The Vampire Diaries’ get a look in? I will concede Damon has a nice touch of the Rob Lowe about him (meow!) however that is all I will concede. Needless to say I have developed my own list of fangtastic seductive vampire’s who will get into a girls frilly panties or convince a guy he can cluck like a chicken with the wink of an eye or the wiggle of their hips (in no particular order):
Gloria Holden, Countess Marya Zaleska: Dracula’s Daughter
The statuesque beauty exudes sex appeal as the daughter of the most famous vampyre of all. Gliding gracefully across each scene and dressed in stunning art deco gowns with plunging necklines.
Kiefer Sutherland, David: The Lost Boys
We all love a bad boy, even more so a leader of the pack, in this case a kiss of renegade vampires. Kiefer plays the ultimate brat pack vamp leading his boys to terrorize and recruit. Michael got all the press but we fangbangers know who brought the heat to this tale of the undead.
Antonio Banderas, Armand: Interview with the Vampire
The brooding Armand in his black suit and cape, sexual ambiguity and eyes you could drown in trumped both Cruise and Pitt in Interview with the Vampire. Who would go for the whining Louis or sadistic Lestat when you have a hot latin (well maybe warm, being a vampire and all) leader of the Paris vampiric kiss?
Alexander Skarsgard, Eric Northman: True Blood
As above with Keifer, bad boys are much more fun. Especially when they’re tall, brooding well sculpted and wear a suit like its a second skin. Eric brings the raunch to True Blood with his unabashed ownership of being a vampire and the appetites that come along with it. Who in history can call children ‘Teacup humans’ ans still sound sexy? Meow!
Salma Hayek, Santanico Pandemodium: From Dusk Til Dawn
Santanico leader of the kiss that resides at the ‘Titty Twister’ (I love the neon sign out the front of the bar!). This vampiric temptress has curves in all the right places an knows how to use them. This undead seductress can also wrangle a snake like no one else… take from that what you will.
Mary and Madeleine Collinson, Maria and Frieda: Twins of Evil
The saying goes that two is always better than one. This goes double for this sensual pair of twins. These two ladies vamped it up at the Hammer studio in the film ‘Twins of Evil’. Raven haired vixens, innocent features, with bodies to kill. The ladies were unfortunately not so much known for their acting abilities but for their voluptuous figures, were later to appear on the pages of Playboy. (Reference, Hammer Glamour, p40)
Marie Devereux: The Brides of Dracula
This star from The Brides of Dracula was known for her ’sizzling dark beauty, cascading raven tresses and devastating physique’. Another stunner from the Hammer Studio, she steams up the screen as one of Dracula’s leading ladies. classic beauty that speaks for itself in the sex appeal stakes. (Reference, Hammer Glamour, p59)
Gary Oldman, Dracula: Bram Stokers Dracula
Some may see this as an odd choice. However sex appeal does not always come from film star looks or devastating curves. Oldman’s portrayal of Dracula was one of a tortured soul pining for a lost love who he had searched for through the ages. He played the Count as a romantic, once landing in London a cultured gentleman. The ultimate scene where he is in bed with Mina and she is feeding from his chest is one of triumph and sadness all wrapped up in eroticism, which is why Oldman well deserves his place on this list.
Stephen Dorff, Deacon Frost: Blade
I am going to admit personal bias on this one, however he does fall into the ategory of the bad boy you just can’t say no to in his portrayal of the rebellious and ambitious Deacon Frost. His boyish good looks and brooding eyes, combine well with the characters lethal nature to create the vamp you love to hate, but makes you weak at the knees with a flick of his tussled locks!
Gianna Jun, Saya: Blood the Last Vampire
Last but not least, Saya. Not your typical pick for one with sex appeal, this pint sized assassin has a fair bit of competition in her film for the crown of seductress which her nemesis would be more likely to win. However, who can resist a gorgeous Japanese chick in a school girls outfit, lads you know what I’m talking about…
So there you have it Ms Harker’s list of Fantastic Seductive Vampires, it is by no means exhaustive, however is guaranteed to give you a serious case of Vampire Moistness Disorder.
Ms Harker.
Tags: Horror, Horror Flms, Horror TV, Vampire
Trick ‘r’ Treat, there is a lesson in this film for all of us!
Posted by Ms Harker | Filed under Horror Films
The pending release of ‘Trick ‘r’ Treat‘ has felt like a long time coming, however as October rolls closer I am still in shock it is still a DVD only release. It had a great response at Comic Con 09 and the horror community is all a buzz with anticipation of a truly intelligent, creative piece of work that still manages to make audiences squeal with fright and giggle with delight. A deformed evil pumpkin head demon Midget (little person) chopping the achilles of a disheveled old man never gets old and is one of life’s guilty pleasures!
The official synopsis is as follows:
“It is said that Halloween is the night when the dead rise to walk among us and other unspeakable things roam free. The rituals of All Hallows Eve were devised to protect us from their evil mischief, and one small town is about to be taught a terrifying lesson that some traditions are best not forgotten. Nothing is what it seems when a suburban couple learns the dangers of blowing out a Jack-o-Lantern before midnight; four women cross paths with a costumed stalker at a local festival; a group of pranksters goes too far and discovers the horrifying truth buried in a local legend; and a cantankerous old hermit is visited by a strange trick-or-treater with a few bones to pick. Costumes and candy, ghouls and goblins, monsters and mayhem… the tricks and treats of Halloween turn deadly as strange creatures of every variety-human and otherwise-try to survive the scariest night of the year.”
There are some interesting cast members including the lovely Anna Paquin now known for her fangbanging portrayal of waitress Sookie Stackhouse in True Blood and Tahmoh Penikett hunky sci-fi regular who you may recognise for his roles in Dollhouse and Battlestar Galactica. I am personally looking forward to the relase of this film, as its been a while since we had a bit of good old fashioned spooky Halloween fun, that doesn’t involve some oedipal psychopath in a tattered mask massacring the local populace.
Ms Harker
Tags: Halloween, Horror, Horror Flms
Thirst is coming to Melbourne!!!!
Posted by Ms Harker | Filed under Asian Horror, Horror Films
I can’t believe it! I am freaking out, I can’t believe this slid under my usual keen vampiric like senses… Thirst is showing at the Melbourne International Film Festival! Apologies to those readers from far and abroad, I will explain. The festival runs at this time every year and has a ‘Night Shift’ program which has a small selection of horror films. Now i read the preview program a little while ago and there was no Thirst to be seen. However whilst browsing our local broadsheet online I discovered an article discussing the attraction of horror films, the usual bollocks, why do people like to be scared blah blah. Low and behold the festival’s organiser is talking about a blood sucking priest! So I scrambled to the MIFF site, snatched myself up tickets for a night showing of Thirst and found to my delight Moon was also showing, so threw in tickets for that for good measure!
For those who have been spending too much time in their coffin, Thirst is directed by Chan-wook Park the synopsis is as follows:
“A beloved and devoted priest from a small town volunteers for a medical experiment which fails and turns him into a vampire. Physical and psychological changes lead to his affair with a wife of his childhood friend who is repressed and tired of her mundane life. The one-time priest falls deeper in despair and depravity. As things turns for worse, he struggles to maintain whats left of his humanity.”
I dodged a silver bullet here folks, so what lessons have we learnt today?
1. Be ever vigilant when your local film festival is creeping up behind you.
2. Good things come to those who wait; even in Australia.
3. Focus (distribution company of Thirst) sends out cool promotional stuff for Comic Con (thanks to the First Showing Crew for sharing, and inflaming my Comic Con envy).
Have a look at the trailer below (thanks to Eco Samurai for the footage) and join me in a little dance of glee around whatever deity takes your fancy!
Ms Harker
Thirst Comic Con 09 Promo
Tags: Asian Horror, Comic Con 09, Horror, Horror Flms, Vampire
